10 Tips for Letting Go in Bed and Enjoy Sex with a New Partner
Take care of yourself first! Remember that sex is a very personal decision, and if you don't feel ready or don't want to take that next step, don't let anybody pressure you into it—that's not a person worth spending another minute with! If there is any doubt, ask yourself "Why do I feel this way?" and look at things from an objective perspective: Is it because I'm afraid of failure? Is it because my partner might think less of me if we don't have sex? Or could it be because I don't know how this will turn out?
Don't rush into anything just for the sake of having sex—you should both be able to enjoy yourselves without pressure from anyone else involved in the relationship (e.g., your parents). Make sure
Honor Your Intentions
Sex is a very personal decision. Sleeping with someone for the first time shouldn’t subscribe to any preconceived ideas or timelines.
If you don’t feel ready or don’t want to take that next step, don’t let anybody pressure you into it. That’s not a person worth spending another minute with.
Wear Something You Feel Good In
Whether it’s a form-fitting piece of lingerie or your comfiest, happiest pair of underwear, it’s always easy to set the mood (and ease the anxieties) when you feel confident with what you’re wearing.
This applies to the rest of your appearance, too. Style your hair the way you like it best and put on your favorite lipstick. You know that saying, look good, feel good? Take it to heart!
Manage Your Scents
Before the date, make sure you brush your teeth, stock up on deodorant, and spritz on your favorite cologne or perfume. Grab a stick of gum or some mints for the road.
As it turns out, your personal scent is essential for sexual attraction. An unpleasant scent can also be a significant turn-off for both parties.
Just don’t overdo it. Nobody wants to swim in an artificial odor!
Be Mindful of Your Meal
If you’re going out to dinner before your evening in, take stock of your meal options before ordering. The wrong dish can ruin the mood, so prepare accordingly!
Foods to consider steering away from:
- Beans (can result in abdominal cramps and excess gas)
- Fibrous, cruciferous veggies like cabbage, kale, and broccoli
- Excess carbohydrates (the insulin rush can result in feeling tired)
- Processed meats (can impact hormones)
- Carbonated beverages
Foods to consider chowing down before hitting the hay:
- Nuts (contain zinc, which is one of the components of a healthy libido)
- Avocados (also can improve the libido)
- Seafood (more zinc!)
- Dark chocolate
- Pomegranates (lowers cortisol levels)
Whatever you do, make sure that you DO eat (nobody wants a grumbling tummy during sexy time) without overeating (nobody wants to feel bloated, either!).
Watch Your Alcohol
There’s nothing wrong with having a glass of wine or cocktail to shake off those nerves before jumping into bed.
However, with a new partner, it’s important that you feel safe and alert within your surroundings. For this reason, it’s best to avoid heavy drinking and/or intoxication.
Lowering your inhibitions is one thing. Completely losing them altogether can turn a fun situation into one that you can’t remember- and that’s never a good idea.
Set the Mood
If you’re bringing your date back to your house, tidying up your space can go a long way for making him or her feel comfortable.
Make sure you have clean sheets available and extra, clean towels in the bathroom. If you’re both game, consider playing some music once you two enter the room. The right jam can get you both in the right mood!
Bring (And Use) Protection
Nothing kills the mood like the fear of STD transmission or unwanted pregnancy intruding into your thoughts.
Obviously, it goes without saying that having sex with a new partner requires using protection. However, it’s not fair to assume that your partner will have protection on him/her. You should always bring your own.
Enjoy the Foreplay
Easing into sex with a new partner can feel intimidating. You may feel exposed and anxious, and your body may not react in the way you want it to.
This is where the foreplay comes in. Whether it’s a sexy massage courtesy of the valuable tips from WINKS London or some serious making out, take the time to enjoy each other’s bodies.
Rushing into sex may result in one or both of you feeling disappointed. Let yourselves relish in the exciting build-up!
Communicate and Validate
We all know that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but it’s also key to a healthy sex life.
If your new partner is doing something you like, let them know! If you’re not sure if they like your new move, ask!
Don’t be afraid to be direct with your partner. Showing exactly what you like and how you like it done takes the guesswork and stress out of the situation for everyone involved.
Talk Afterwards
Did sex go great? Don’t keep your partner in the dark. Let him or her know how much you enjoyed it by sending a sexy text the next day. If you’ve found a new friend-with-benefits, great!
Did you end up leaving feeling disappointed? Recognize that it could be a first-time fluster, especially if both of you were feeling nervous. And, hey, sometimes practice makes perfect!
Final Thoughts on Sex with a New Partner
Without a doubt, physical intimacy can evoke a variety of emotions ranging from excitement to fear to embarrassment.
The more you can focus on letting go of these emotions and making room for the pleasure, the more you’ll be able to enjoy your experience of having sex with a new partner!